Day One: Isn't this letter beautiful? Ryan and I have been married for seven years, as of Saturday, the 26th. Marriage is a roller coaster! And, you don't have a "soul mate". You have to work at it (marriage), you must craft it. Cherish it. Work at it. Laugh at it. Care for it.
For today, I leave you with this letter. I only disagree with the going to bed angry part. Sometimes that's just not possible. Sometimes you've gotta sleep on it, come back to it. But everything else mentioned? Well, I couldn't have said it better myself.
Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created. In the Art of Marriage, the little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say ‘I love you’ at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon; it should continue through all the years. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have the wings of an angel.
It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding rooms for things of the spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.
Paul Newman’s letter to his wife on their wedding
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
FPU Week 1, Part 2
1.What was the last major unexpected financial crisis you faced? How much money was involved? How would that have gone differently if you had had the money sitting in a savings account?
2.Dream big. What if you were debt free (except your home) and had $10,000 sitting in the bank just for emergencies? How would your life be different? How would you be different?
3.In this session, Dave introduced the notion of actually paying cash for major purchases. This is something we’ll talk about A LOT as we work through FPU. As we get started, what are your initial reactions to the idea of never borrowing money again? Do you think this is too extreme?
1. The last major unexpected $ crisis we faced was paying out of pocket for my D&C in July. The cost was somewhere (prepare for embarrassment because we should be able to cover it) in the range of $800 to $1000 for the surgery. It would have been less stressful all around and we wouldn't have decided to give up on owning our own home.
2. If I had zero debt and $10K in the bank for emergencies ... oh my word ... I would imagine I would feel calm about quite a few many things. I live a peaceful life, but I am guessing I would feel very secure and well on my way to taking care of the needs we have for family building.
3. I LOVE THIS IDEA!!! It truly has been a goal from the day we were married. We lived the first year and a half with zero debt. And then we bought a teeny tiny house we couldn't afford and it all went downhill from there. Love cash only, can't wait to get there.
And the last three (trying a different approach in putting the answer right after the question):
1.In this session, Dave pretty much says that anyone should be able to retire with dignity and some personal wealth. How do you respond to that? Do you believe that you could find $100 a month to save?
I agree, but have never known how to achieve this. I absolutely think I have $100 I could be saving.
2.In your to-do list from the last session, you were instructed to start laying out your personal budget by using the Quickie Budget form. Have you done that yet? If so, can you see how easy it would be to save money consistently, every month if you had no debt? What would that feel like?
I'll answer this one after we've done it.
3.Do you struggle with discipline when it comes to your money? What are some specific strategies you can use to overcome this challenge?
2.Dream big. What if you were debt free (except your home) and had $10,000 sitting in the bank just for emergencies? How would your life be different? How would you be different?
3.In this session, Dave introduced the notion of actually paying cash for major purchases. This is something we’ll talk about A LOT as we work through FPU. As we get started, what are your initial reactions to the idea of never borrowing money again? Do you think this is too extreme?
1. The last major unexpected $ crisis we faced was paying out of pocket for my D&C in July. The cost was somewhere (prepare for embarrassment because we should be able to cover it) in the range of $800 to $1000 for the surgery. It would have been less stressful all around and we wouldn't have decided to give up on owning our own home.
2. If I had zero debt and $10K in the bank for emergencies ... oh my word ... I would imagine I would feel calm about quite a few many things. I live a peaceful life, but I am guessing I would feel very secure and well on my way to taking care of the needs we have for family building.
3. I LOVE THIS IDEA!!! It truly has been a goal from the day we were married. We lived the first year and a half with zero debt. And then we bought a teeny tiny house we couldn't afford and it all went downhill from there. Love cash only, can't wait to get there.
And the last three (trying a different approach in putting the answer right after the question):
1.In this session, Dave pretty much says that anyone should be able to retire with dignity and some personal wealth. How do you respond to that? Do you believe that you could find $100 a month to save?
I agree, but have never known how to achieve this. I absolutely think I have $100 I could be saving.
2.In your to-do list from the last session, you were instructed to start laying out your personal budget by using the Quickie Budget form. Have you done that yet? If so, can you see how easy it would be to save money consistently, every month if you had no debt? What would that feel like?
I'll answer this one after we've done it.
3.Do you struggle with discipline when it comes to your money? What are some specific strategies you can use to overcome this challenge?
No Baby News Here
I'll get back to my blogging about fertility soon (upcoming things: right now I'm on birth control and I'll be having surgery in April ... how's that for enticement?).
But today I come to you because I've started the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University. And part of this process is to journal about various things as we go along.
This is a sixteen week study, which will take me right up to July. I hope to work on this each Sunday until then; that's when I've put it in my calendar.
The questions:
1.What do you hope to get out of Financial Peace University? What motivated you to enroll?
2.What are three or four specific goals you have for this program? In what ways do you want your life to be different by the time you finish this program?
1. What am I hoping to gain? Knowledge of course. I grew up a kid on welfare. I also have been super blessed in my career. Between the two of us, Ryan and I were making very good money over the last few years (well I know "good money" is all relative ... but we have lived a comfortable middle class existence). Oddly enough, Ryan knows how to handle money very well. But we only have about $1000 in savings (ahh, transparency.) And buying both of the homes we've purchased have been horrific decisions.
So, I need to know how to relate to money. I need to know how to get out of debt. I need to know how we will be able to build/support (healthily) our family (fertility treatment, IVF, adoption, etc., etc., etc.).
2a. 3 or 4 specific goals:
- create a budget
- begin to payoff debt (including learning how to really do that)
- learn how to live a "cash only" existence
- learn to not overspend/control my spending habits
2b. I hope my life is different when I'm done with FPU because I will have achieved goals up there. I think they are reasonable. If I haven't completed them, then I hope to be on my way to doing so. (And, of course, I hope that I will be preggers sometime in the next 16 wks.)
So, we will see what this brings. I like doing this on my blog.
Ta-ta.
Sarah
But today I come to you because I've started the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University. And part of this process is to journal about various things as we go along.
This is a sixteen week study, which will take me right up to July. I hope to work on this each Sunday until then; that's when I've put it in my calendar.
The questions:
1.What do you hope to get out of Financial Peace University? What motivated you to enroll?
2.What are three or four specific goals you have for this program? In what ways do you want your life to be different by the time you finish this program?
1. What am I hoping to gain? Knowledge of course. I grew up a kid on welfare. I also have been super blessed in my career. Between the two of us, Ryan and I were making very good money over the last few years (well I know "good money" is all relative ... but we have lived a comfortable middle class existence). Oddly enough, Ryan knows how to handle money very well. But we only have about $1000 in savings (ahh, transparency.) And buying both of the homes we've purchased have been horrific decisions.
So, I need to know how to relate to money. I need to know how to get out of debt. I need to know how we will be able to build/support (healthily) our family (fertility treatment, IVF, adoption, etc., etc., etc.).
2a. 3 or 4 specific goals:
- create a budget
- begin to payoff debt (including learning how to really do that)
- learn how to live a "cash only" existence
- learn to not overspend/control my spending habits
2b. I hope my life is different when I'm done with FPU because I will have achieved goals up there. I think they are reasonable. If I haven't completed them, then I hope to be on my way to doing so. (And, of course, I hope that I will be preggers sometime in the next 16 wks.)
So, we will see what this brings. I like doing this on my blog.
Ta-ta.
Sarah
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