Well, I've failed at the 7 days of Love thing, haha. I totally forgot about it. It's weird how spring is the busiest season of my life, I think even busier than the end of the year holidays.
Anyhow. It is finished. For now. No babies on this homefront.
We are out of money to throw at this problem. Our doctor wants us to try a more aggressive treatment, so I think we will begin saving for IVF, soon. Ryan is up for a job that may have some really awesome fertility coverage, so that would be a huge blessing.
I'm exhausted going over this story. So to sum it up: I feel good about the situation. God is gracious and merciful enough to allow me to come to the point where I have to fully surrender to Him. He has allowed me to force myself and my quest for knowledge and trying to know everything on the situation. I can do no more. I have no choice but to relinquish the problem.
This is still a roller coaster, but I do feel at peace with it. And it's okay to feel emotional about it, because I don't think there is anything more personal than your attempt to have babies.
So here I sit.
But I've come here today not to talk about all this per se. But instead to say that I will still hope and pray that I will one day be able to sing this song to my child:
"Bless The Broken Road"
I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
[Chorus:]
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true
